Fart Bomb Wars...

Somewhere in Boruca a stock pile of Fart Bombs have been located and a street battle has broken out. The little plastic packages look harmless enough and are easy to conceal. However, when you hear the loud pop of a fart bomb that has been smacked onto the ground and the devilish chuckle of a Borucan, fading into the distance as they run away, you know that things are about to get unpleasent.

The aroma of the fart bombs is a mixture of rotten eggs and a saint bernard with seroius digestive problems. The smell waifes through houses and lingers... and lingers.

Today I was in the pulperia (corner store) buying a few things for a class party. Kids were on break and filled the tiny store shouting the names of their favorite brands of fried fat-chunk snacks and sugar coated sugar cube treats. Sudenly there was a loud pop and everything was silent. People looked around for the source of the sound and discovered a small broken bag on the ground. Then the smell hit.

Kids started screaming and flooded into the street in a panic. The owners of the store left their counter and ran out the back door. There was a first grader in the corner dry heaving, I ran out the door with my goods. I didn´t bother waiting for my change. In the streets people gasped for air. Contourted faces stared blancly into the mountains trying to understand what had just entered their nose.

Now one may think that adolescents are the perpotraters of these olfactory crimes. Bored teenagers looking to harrass anyone for enjoyment. One would think wrong. Middle-age men in Boruca are running into each others homes, work places, and ranchos leaving a wake of burning noses. No one knows how it started and I fear for how it is going to end. May God have mercy on our noses.

posted by k meadows @ 3:48 PM